


Not Like in the Magazines

by EventHorizon



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 15:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EventHorizon/pseuds/EventHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Arthur Shappey can have an off day...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Like in the Magazines

      “Arthur!  What on Earth are you doing?”

Martin was used to Arthur doing any manner of strange things, but standing in front of the mirror, alternately sucking in and pushing out his stomach was a new one.

      “What?  Oh… nothing.”

      “Arthur, we had the talk where I reminded you that ‘nothing’ can mean the same thing as ‘something’ sometimes and how you don’t hide it very well when that’s the case.”

      “I know… but, it’s really nothing.  I mean… nothing important, I guess.”

      “You’re important to me, love, so anything that’s ‘nothing’ is actually important to me, too.  And… you’re wearing your Mr. Worry face, so please do not tell me this isn’t something I should know about.”

Arthur let out a large sigh and Mr. Worry made a grander appearance, which put Martin on alert for something dire.

      “It’s just… I was doing the shopping today and I stopped at the bakery I like so much, oh and Mrs. Smith says hello and she got a new budgie whose name is Phyllis, which is a brilliant name for a budgie, and…”

      “Arthur, I doubt that you’re concerned about Phyllis the Budgie, unless you somehow hastened its demise.”

      “Nope, she’s still safe and sound in her nice little cage, and it really is a nice little cage too, with bells and ladders…”

      “We can talk about Phyllis later.  We can even visit the blasted thing if you want, but will you please just tell me why you’re standing there, in your pants, seemingly trying to decide what you would look like if you were having a baby?”

      “That’s not possible, is it?  Because that would be BRILLIANT!”

      “No, the facts of life haven’t changed since you went to school.  And besides… BLAST!  Stay on the subject!”

      “Oh… well, ok.  It still would be brilliant, though.  Me and you and little Skip... anyway, I was at the bakery and trying to decide between all the lovely cakes and it was taking me a long time because there were so _many_ lovely cakes and Mrs. Smith lets me have wee samples so I can make sure I’m getting the one I like the best and… this woman was in the shop and she said that it was probably a good thing I couldn’t decide because… because I looked like someone who really didn’t need to eat more cake anyway.”

Martin liked to consider himself a decent sort of chap, but right now all he wanted to do was find this woman and teach her a rather painful lesson about manners.

      “Don’t listen to her, Arthur.  There’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

      “I… I _thought_ so.  I mean I don’t feel sick or bad or anything and you think I would if there was something wrong, but… well, I’m rather _squishy_ , aren’t I?  And a bit _round_.”

      “You’re shaped perfectly, love.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  Not one thing.” 

      “But… you would say that no matter what I looked like because you’re my boyfriend and that’s what boyfriends do, they say nice things so the other boyfriend doesn’t feel bad, even when they’ve gone squishy and round.”

      “Arthur, I am not telling you a story  WAIT!  Yes, I know it would be brilliant if we could do a story time, but let’s leave that for later.  What I’m trying to tell you is that you look fine.  Better than fine, actually.  And I tell you this all the time, so why are you worried about it now?  Were you really so upset by what that woman said, because I bet I could find a hundred things about her that make her look like a complete hypocrite and…”

      It’s… it’s not just her.  I started looking when I went to buy the regular groceries and, well you know I normally don’t read those magazines because they say bad things about people and things that aren’t true, but…”

      “This time you did.”

      “Yeah, I did.  I don’t look like any of them, Skip.  They’re not round and squishy and have nice hair and don’t have my sort of nose and… then I started thinking about the movies we watch and all the programs that I see on the telly… I don’t look like any of them… not at all… and I know that people think those people are nice looking and that means I’m not nice looking and…”

      “Arthur… no two people look alike, yes… I know you’re going to say something about twins, so I’ll agree to that exception.  Everyone looks different and think of how awful it would be if that wasn’t true!  Now, let’s look at what you’re saying.  First you’re not round and squishy.  If you want to call yourself something, call yourself… cuddly.  Just like one of your stuffed polar bears.  You have _very_ nice hair, too.  It’s a good color and you comb it properly and it’s… well, it’s very soft, isn’t it.  You know how much I like to fiddle with your hair when we’re having an evening on the sofa.  And your nose is _very_ cute.  In fact, it’s the cutest nose I have ever seen.  You know all the times you see little animals and you’re so happy because they have such cute noses?  Well, that’s what I think of yours.  I even want to boop it sometimes, just like you do to the photographs or videos.”

      “Really?  You’re not just saying that because of the… well, you know.  The boyfriend thing.”

      “How about this, then?  Do you think there’s something wrong with the way I look, because I certainly don’t look like anyone in those magazines.”

      “NO!  Oh… NO!  You’re the handsomest and cutest and you’ve got lovely ginger hair and you’re strong and grrrrrrrr…. very nice looking.”

      “Was that a naughty tiger sound?”

      “Well… yes.  Did I do it right?”

      “You did it perfectly.  So, are you saying that and making naughty tiger noises just because I’m your boyfriend and you’re trying to make me feel good or do you really believe it?”

      “Of course I believe it, because it’s completely and absolutely and five-hundred duckling true.”

      “Ok… good.  Now, what if I said I think I’m a scrawny ginger midget with weird eyes and a stammer.”

      “I’d say I’d have to sit you down and have a talk with you and tell you how wrong you are and… oh.”

      “Yeah, oh.  Arthur, those people in the magazines are paid to look that way.  They have people who do their hair for them and make them do all sorts of exercise routines to stay trim.  The women have people doing their makeup and everyone gets their clothes picked out when they get those pictures taken, so they look special.  That’s their job, Arthur.  If you just ran into them on the street, you’d see that they were normal people, too.  With a bit of roundness here and there, maybe they’re actually sort of short, which you might not see in a magazine or movie.  Maybe they get blotches when they eat too much chocolate or have hair that’s frizzy as straw!  Those magazines and movies and programs you watch on the telly… that’s not how real people necessarily look.  Some, possibly.  But not most.  Most look like you and me, love.  And isn’t that grand?  That woman at the shop was probably having a bad day and wanted to be mean to someone to make herself feel better.  She had no idea what she was talking about.” 

      “I guess… I never thought of any of that.  You know, though… when we flew Hester Macaulay… she did look a bit spotty and… oh, I can’t say it.”

      “Do it, Arthur.  You’ll feel better.”

      “Ok… she had a little plump in her rump.”

      “I bet you’ve been waiting a long time to use that in a sentence haven’t you?”

      “It rhymes!  It’s true, even if it’s not necessarily nice, and it rhymes!”

      “There you go.  And did you think her any less brilliant for any of that?”

      “No… no I did not.  Not at all… well, not for that, at least.  She _was_ a bit shouty, after all.”

      “True.  So, do you believe me now?  You, Arthur Shappey, are wonderful just the way you are and I don’t want you to ever, _ever_ believe any different.  Ok?”

      “Ok!  Oh, thank you, Skip!  You’re the best.  I mean before you got here I felt… that is to say… oh, it’s not been a good day.”

      “Well, let’s change that.  How about some of that delicious cake I’m sure you bought?”

      “Brilliant!  And… maybe a movie and buttery popcorn?”

      “Absolutely.  Anything you want, we can have or do.”

      “Can I stay in my pants?  They’re the comfy ones you bought me for my birthday and you know how much I like to be comfy when I watch a movie and eat cake and popcorn.”

      “Can I be in my pants, too?”

      “Just like little kids!  Oh, Skip… you’re the best.  I’ll find a movie while you get the snacks.”

Martin watched the love of his life bounce around the room looking for a movie and couldn’t hold back the smile.  Yes, there was a little roundness, and there were places that were nicely squishy, but all of that was what made Arthur _Arthur_.  Definitely not like in the magazines.  And that was, without doubt, the very best thing in the world…

**Author's Note:**

> Other little shorties can be found on my tumblr:
> 
> eventhorizon451.tumblr.com


End file.
